Drugged Births, Drugged Babies

If thIS title has made you pause, great, it has done its job.

I INnerstand that the title “Drugged Births, Drugged Babies” may come across as hard, perhaps even harsh, for some readers. ThIS Choice of language was Purposeful. IN a conversation that IS so often cloaked IN soft Words — Words that tend to downplay and / or obscure the True gravity of the situation — I felt it necessary to INtroduce a level of directness that challenges the Way WE collectively approach the topic of epidurals and medicated Births.

Let me preface thIS by expressINg deep compassion for any Woman who has Chosen to receive an epidural durINg ChildBirth. The decision to receive medication for paIN relief IN the face of what IS, undeniably, One of the most INtense physical experiences of a Woman’s Life, IS personal (and deeply political). Many / most of us face unprecedented pressure from medical systems, our Family members, and the fear of paIN itself, which can lead to the decision to request or accept an epidural. For those who made that Choice — I hold no judgment.

That said, I feel it IS VITAl to speak about the full-spectrum reality of epidurals and to make room for a new dialogue — One that IS transparent, Truthful, and Rooted IN genuINe concern and generational care.

THere’s a growing trend I’ve noticed that feels strange and out of place: the Way some Women proudly virtue-signal about havINg received an epidural, as though the Choice itself IS somethINg to WEar like a badge of honor. Now, I AM All for normalizINg any and All conversations about ChildBirth, however, when WE BEgIN to elevate certaIN Choices, particularly Ones INvolvINg serious drugs, WE need to take a step back and assess what WE are really celebratINg — personal story’s, biases and attachments aside.

Epidurals are not harmless and it’s unsettlINg to witness the normalization — and even pride — around a practise that, at its core, INvolves INtroducINg potent opiods INto a MotHER (and tHerefore Baby’s) Body’s.

WE cannot deny that fentanyl, IS the primary drug IN many / most epidurals. When admINistered, it crosses the Placental barrier, meanINg that the BirthINg Woman IS unequivocally BirthINg under the INfluence and Her Baby IS unequivocally Born under the INfluence, of thIS substance.

Here IS wHere the irony IS so rich and wHere the contradiction BEcomes and IS glarINgly apparent: when a hospital admINisters an epidural, it IS seen as "heroism," a necessary, Life-affirmINg INtervention, a marker of progress IN medical science. Yet, if a pregnant Woman WEre to voluntarily take fentanyl outside the bounds of the medical system, She could and would face crimINal charges. How can WE justify thIS double standard? It’s the same substance, producINg the same effects, however, One IS cloaked IN the authority of modern medicINe, and the other IS condemned as reckless and dangerous.

THere’s an undeniable disconnect Here. While I do not advocate for anyOne to misuse fentanyl (or any drug, for that matter — on any given day), I do BElieve WE need to face the INconsistencies IN how WE view the use of opioids IN ChildBirth.

When you put the lists of “risks” and “rewards” side by side, it’s clear that the ONLY reward of paIN relief — though significant IN the moment — pales IN comparison to the laundry list of risks. From the INcreased likelihood of more INvasive medical INterventions to direct impacts on the MotHERBaby dyad as WELL as their INdiviual identities and states of BEINg (both short-term and long-term) — the risks associated with epidurals are not alWays clearly explaINed, robbINg Women of Truly INformed and INvolved consent and Choice.

THere’s no denyINg that the immediate relief from paIN durINg labor IS appealINg and allurINg, however, WE must ask ourselves: IS temporary paIN relief worth the timeless risks for both the MotHER and the Baby — and their LivINg BloodlINes?

Need I remINd everyOne:

Birth paIN IS not poINtless — it IS exquisitely Purposeful.

Birth IS often described as a labor of Love, and rightfully so. It IS the first, most visceral act of MotHERhood, wHere a Woman IS called to persist and persevere through unprecedented paIN for the sake of brINgINg and BirthINg Life INto the World. What if, thIS INtense, unfiltered experience of labor IS meant to BE more than just a process of brINgINg and BirthINg a Baby INto the World? What if, it IS a foreshadowINg — a preparation ground — for the deeper, Lifelong labor of Love that IS MotHERhood itself?

It IS as if the very act of BirthINg IS teachINg a Woman what it means to give Herself wholly, fully, and without reservation, to the care and buildINg up of another Human BEINg. To BE fully engaged IN the moment of labor IS to set a precedent for the kINd of engagement a Woman Will have IN Her MotHERINg and MotHERhood — immersed, attentive, and deeply connected to the Life that God has enTrusted Her with.

When a Woman Chooses to subdue labor, to dull the INtensity and INtegrity of the experience through INterventions like epidurals, She may BE unINtentionally subduINg Herself IN Her role as MotHER. What’s BEen revealed to me over and over agaIN IS that — the evanescent labor of ChildBirth IS endurance traININg for the Eternal labor of MotHERhood. IN ChoosINg to opt out of that first experience, to subdue the INtensity and INtegrity of it, Women disconnect themselves from the very emBodied and experiential Wisdom necessary to prepare, position and prime them for the rigors and BEAUTY of MotHERINg and MotHERhood.

It goes without sayINg (literally ask any MotHER you Know) — MotHERhood IS not without its paINs, TESTs, trials, tribulations and challenges. Just as labor requires endurance, so too does the daily Devotion of disciplINg a Child. And disciplINg them WELL, might I add. THere Will BE many sleepless nights, moments of absolute doubt and defeat, and soooooo much sacrifice (of self). It IS a labor of Love that requires a Woman to lean IN, even when it’s hard, even when it hurts.

The labor of Birth IS designed to BE a FaithINg experience. Ultimately, the more exalted you are to — and the more you embrace the full sensation of Birth, the more you Will BE able to transfer and translate those same skills INto your MotHERINg and MotHERhood.

It IS worth reflectINg on what WE might give up and / or lose when WE take the edge off the labor that precedes MotHERhood. SubduINg that experience may, IN subtle and / or significant Ways, subdue a Woman IN Her MotHERINg and MotHERhood — making it less accessible (Somatically and Spiritually speakINg) to BE fully immersed, fully INvolved, fully engaged, and fully Present IN the labor of Love that IS enablINg a Child’s full potential.

While it may seem like a One-off decision for the immediate moment of labor, the Truth IS that the ripple effects of thIS escape can show up downstream IN many areas of a Woman’s MotHERINg and MotHERhood. The same impulses (and patterns) that prompt a Woman to escape and numb the paIN of labour IN Birth reappear later, manifestINg IN habits, comforts, crutches and distractions that She seeks and reaches for to escape the labor of MotHERhood.

Downstream, the escapism an epidural gave a Woman IN labor may BE found IN a glass or bottle of wINe at the end of a long day, IN the antidepressants prescribed to Her, IN the iPad placed IN Her INfant’s hands to keep them occupied, or IN the pacifier used as a quick fix .. dare I say, plug, for cryINg (which by the Way, IS a Baby’s primary form of communication with their caregivers). All these substances, gizmos and gadgets, are tools used to distance oneself from the discomfort, the demands, and the raw reality of MotHERhood.

THere’s a common phrase tossed around IN conversations about Birth INterventions that makes me crINge that goes somethINg like, "the Baby was Born, that’s All that matters."

On the surface, thIS sentiment seems WELL-INtentioned, a Way to reassure MotHERs that everythINg turned out fINe, IN the end. While thIS mentality IS comfortINg to some, it IS fundamentally problematic BEcause it reduces One of the most profound moments IN a person’s Life (BEING BORN) — to a sINgular medical event, with a nefariously narrow focus on immediate survival.

Ultimately, the transition of exitINg the Womb and enterINg and emergINg INto the World IS a Rite of Passage that INforms and INfluences every subsequent chapter of our Lives. The act of BEINg Born shapes who WE are, our relational INtelligence, and our roles and responsibilities withIN society as conduits of Creator and caretakers of Creation. THere are lastINg marks that Birth leaves on both the INdividual and the Whole, when you consider Birth as more than a One-off medical event but as the very Root system of Human culture. A LIVING LEGACY. THere are deep-Rooted connections BEtween how WE are Born and how WE Live. How WE are marked by Birth IS a key determINant IN the mark WE Will leave BEhINd.

Birth IS not just about the safety of the MotHER and Child IN the immediate aftermath. Of course, “safety” IS essential AND WE must expand our INnerstandINg of what "safety" really means. IS it merely the absence of immediate harm, or does it encompass the emotional, Spiritual, and relational health that Birth can either nurture or neglect for the foreseeable Future?

THere IS a growINg sense of apathy among some Women regardINg the use of epidurals — an attitude that seems to suggest, “it’s just how thINgs are done,” or “as long as the Baby IS aLive”. But what if thIS supposed apathy ISn’t really INdifference at All? What if it reflects a deeply unfelt, unacKnowledged grief? A grief that comes from BEINg disemBodied and divorced from the full experience of Birth — an experience that was meant to BE felt, endured, and engaged with, IN All its INtensity and INtegrity.

IN today’s World, wHere epidurals are normalized and even celebrated as the "easier" Choice, WE seldom stop to ask what IS lost when WE dull or subdue such a sacred experience. PaIN IS often viewed as somethINg to BE avoided at All costs, yet IN doINg so, WE lose the opportUNITY to fully INhabit our Bodies and the Present moment. For some Women, the apathy they express toward the use of epidurals may BE maskINg a deeper sorrow — a grief for the parts of their Birth experience they could not fully connect with or remember BEcause they WEre, IN essence, numbed and removed from it.

IN legal contexts, BEINg under the INfluence of drugs or alcohol can BE enough cause to plead INsanity at the time of a crime. The logic IS that One’s faculties WEre impaired, and they could not BE held fully responsible for their actions and Choices. So why, then, do WE say that BEINg under the INfluence of a drug durINg ChildBirth doesn’t detract from the experience? How can WE say it doesn’t have a significant impact on the MotHER’s ability to connect fully, to feel, to remember, and to BE Present IN One of the most transformative moments of Her Life?

When a Woman IS under the INfluence of a substance like fentanyl durINg labor, Her Soma and Spirit are not fully attuned to the experience. The disconnection IS very real, even if it ISn’t immediately apparent. It’s that disconnection that can and does lead to an unspoken, unfelt grief — grief for the Birth experience She didn’t fully engage IN, grief for the loss of an edifyINg INitiation INto MotHERhood that was muted by the fog of medication.

The tragedy IS that thIS disconnection IS often brushed aside, with many MotHERs reassured that the only thINg that matters IS that their Baby was Born “successfully”. While the Birth of the Baby IS of utmost importance, WE must acKnowledge the (re)Birth of the MotHER as WELL. How She brINgs and Births Life INto the World, how She feels durINg that process, and how connected She IS to Her Soma and Spirit, and Her Baby durINg Birth All have profound implications for how She enters and Roots INto MotHERhood. To dismiss and / or deny the emotional and Spiritual cost of BEINg disemBodied durINg Birth IS unWise.

So, BEfore WE dismiss Women’s attitudes toward epidurals as simple apathy, let’s ask ourselves: What grief IS buried, suffocated and stagnant BEneath the surface? What parts of the Birth experience WEre lost, and how can WE Create space to mourn that loss, while INspirINg, encouragINg and enablINg a fuller, more INtegral experience of ChildBirth IN the Future?

Did Jesus have an epidural when He was nailed to the Cross for our sINs?

No.

The paIN He endured was INconcievable (thIS IS very apparent when you learn about the graphic details of His crucifixion), yet He didn’t seek an escape. He leaned IN. So elegantly. So Faithfully. So HEROICALLY. He faced the fullness of that sufferINg, KnowINg that tHere was the Purest Purpose IN His paIN. His sacrifice was not dimINished by avoidINg the agony; IN fact, it was made greater by His WillINgness to WELLcome it’s arrival.

When Jesus endured the crucifixion, it wasn’t just a moment of sufferINg — it was a moment of complete transformation. After He was crucified, He was literally unrecognizable to those who had Known Him. He had BEen turned INside out, carryINg the WEight of Humanity’s sINs and the labor of Humanity’s reBirth. It was the fulfillment of His DestINy — an act that reshaped History and the course of Humanity.

And perhaps, IN a Way, that IS the very Purpose of Birth as WELL — the INtensity and INtegrity of the experience are meant to turn a Woman INside out, to transform Her completely — to the poINt that She may BE recognizable to everyOne around Her and She may even feel foreign to Herself — yet She IS so recognizable and FAMILIAR to Her Child and Christ. Just as Jesus’ sufferINg was not without Purpose, neither IS the paIN of Birth that a Woman endures.

Yes, Jesus suffered on our BEhalf. Yet, WE are called to participate IN His sufferINg. IN Christ our sufferINg IS not IN vaIN.

Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. 𝟭 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗮𝗻𝘀 𝟭𝟱:𝟱𝟴

They shall not labor in vain or bear children for calamity, for they shall be the offspring of the blessed of the Lord, and their descendants with them. 𝗜𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗮𝗵 𝟲𝟱:𝟮𝟯

In all toil there is profit. 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗯𝘀 𝟭𝟰:𝟮𝟯

The full INtensity and INtegrity of Birth IS like a crucible— its heat, its pressure, its challenge, All have the Power to defINe, refine, transform and fortify. It takes a Woman WELL BEyond what She thought possible and reveals to Her, Her True dependance and reliance on God, IN a Way that no other experience can. IN thIS Way, Birth mirrors the transformative Power of the Cross. Just as Jesus’ sufferINg brought about a new BEgINnINg for Humanity, the labor of Birth brINgs about a new BEgINnINg for both MotHER and Child. It IS a deeply Spiritual process and pilgrimage that leaves its mark on those who go through it, changINg them Eternally.

Mother Mary, too, didn’t have an epidural when She Birthed our Savior. She, like many / most Women throughout History, faced the raw reality of ChildBirth without numbINg the experience. The paIN She endured was not somethINg to escape from — it was somethINg She moved through with feral Faith, KnowINg that the Life She was brINgINg and BirthINg INto the World was part of a far greater story.

Jesus’ sufferINg on the Cross brought salvation to the World, and Mary’s participation IN the physiological process of Birth allowed Her to experience the fullness of Her role as the MotHER of our Savior. Neither Chose to escape the difficulty of their Path, and IN doINg so, they showed us that tHere IS prolific Purpose IN endurINg paIN with Grace, KnowINg that it IS a part of a greater Plan. His greater Plan.

The paIN INHERent IN ChildBirth IS not arbitrary or meanINgless — it IS an element of the redemptive story that has BEen written and woven INto the fabric of Creation. The paIN, the struggle, the endurance All poINt to the greater story of a God who suffers to brINg forth Life, a God who redeems through His own labor of Love.

Conception, pregnancy, Birth and MotHERhood are meant to poINt us to The Gospel.

And perhaps thIS IS wHere a lot of narratives around ChildBirth often fall short. Many traditional Birth attendants, books and conversations place too much emphasis on the MotHER’s capacity — that She was made to Birth, that Her Body IS Perfectly designed for Birth, and so on. But what if Birth ISn’t about provINg how capable you are or how Powerful your Body IS?

What if Birth, INstead, IS about recognizINg how capable God IS? What if, rather than focusINg on what WE can do, WE marvel at Who God IS and what He does through and IN us? When WE shift the focus from ourselves to God, WE BEgIN to see Birth IN a different Light — not as a TEST of our strength, but as a TESTament to His Sovereignty. And perhaps, if thIS was our orientation, the paIN experienced IN labor would no longer feel like somethINg to BE avoided, feared and / or overcome, but somethINg to BE embraced for what it truly IS — Purposeful, not pathological. And more importantly … not punishment.

Birth IS a moment that poINts beyond itself — to the Glory of God, the Author and SustaINer of All Life. Birth IS not a stage for the glorification of Human strength or the capabilities of the Body or the advancements of medicINe and technology; it IS a moment to recognize and celebrate the hand of God at work. Every Child Born INto the World IS a LivINg TESTimony of God's ongoINg Creative work, a witness to the Breath of Life that only He can give.

IN a World that often seeks to medicalize, control, or even dimINish the significance of Birth, tHere IS a need to remember its theological Roots. It IS a sacred event wHere God meets Humanity, wHere His breath of Life enters INto the World anew, and wHere His Purposes contINue to unfold. For those who enter thIS sanctified space with respect, reverence and reciprocity, Birth BEcomes and IS a palpable encounter with Your Maker — a remINder that, INdeed, God IS with you.

Rather than seekINg Peace IN Man X machINes Promises — perhaps the INvitation IS to find peace IN His Promises.

While I have you Here, it feels important to Name the followINg.

THere are certaIN Birth practices that are objectively and INHERently BEtter for the protection and preServation of Human physiology, and that optimize a person’s quality of Life. Contrary to popular discourse wHere BIOlogical denialism runs rampant … thIS ISn’t a matter of opINion or personal BElief; it’s an immutable Truth, Rooted IN BIOlogy. For example, Babies Born VagINally and Breastfed have stronger immune systems, BEnefitINg from the exposure to BEneficial bacteria IN the Birth canal and the unique nutrients and antibodies found IN a MotHERs Breastmilk. These Natural processes are designed to bolster a Child’s immune system, preparINg them for a nourished Life from the very BEgINnINg and enhancINg long-term health outcomes.

It’s not about judgment or shamINg or guilt-trippINg. It’s about recognizINg that some methods simply align more closely with our BIOlogical blueprINt, providINg both MotHER and Child (and All subsequent generations) with a foundation for VITAlity and longevity. No amount of cultural or medical normalization can alter or erase thIS fact.

All that to say …

Yes, let’s normalize discussions about ChildBirth. However, let’s also normalize Truth-tellINg, even when — especially when — that Truth IS uncomfortable. CelebratINg the use of epidurals without acKnowledging the very real implications of epidural use does a disService to everyOne, especially the Babies Born INto thIS World under the influence of such substances.

An extra sprINkle of food for thought that I Will offer you to chew on and metabolize: you can’t claim to BE pro-Life — and champion the use of epidurals.

Epidurals subdue the experience of Birth for both MotHER and Baby. The Baby, Born under the INfluence of opioids, enters the World IN a state of sedation, not fully awake or alert. The MotHER, meanwhile, IS often detached from the full sensory experience of labor — Somatically divorced and Spiritually distant due to the effects of the drugs. ThIS disconnection IS the very opposite of what the pro-Life movement seeks to champion: the full engagement and celebration of Life at every stage.

(It’s a curious thINg that fentanyl IS also admINistered to Women precedINg an abortion).

Here’s to restorINg Birth for the KINgdom with you,

Anja