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I have BEen musINg aaaaaaa lot about the difference BEtween a successful marriage and a failed marriage (One that ends IN divorce).
My Husband and I, like most people IN our generation, come from Family’s of divorce. IN fact, when WE first met, WE both had a mutual resistance towards and rebellion agaINst marriage and explicitly declared WE would never get married.
However … Love has thIS mysterious and miraculous Way of PurifyINg everythINg that IS not actually Love (if you let it … that IS).
BEcause Love IS God and God IS Love — and if you don’t know God, you don’t know Love.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 𝟭 𝗝𝗼𝗵𝗻 𝟰:𝟳-𝟵
God’s Love (AGAPE) IS held as the GOLDEN standard of Love and the ultimate example of what Love IS.
God teaches us that:
Love IS not an option, it IS obligatory.
Love IS not a by-product, it IS a prerequisite.
Love IS not conditional, it IS unconditional.
Love IS not replacement, it IS repairment.
Love IS not a noun, it IS a verb.
THere are two questions that I contINue to come back to.
- What if God designed marriage to make us Holy?
- What if our happiness was simply a by-product of that HOLINESS?
Hence — HOLY — MATRIMONY.
I propose that the difference BEtween a successful marriage and a failed marriage IS the INitial attachment and INvestment INto the lie that marriage IS designed to make you happy — and from tHere — foolishly buildINg your marriage on the fickle foundation of that lie.
What I have come to Know IS that, God did not design marriage for our fleshly satisfaction — He designed marriage for our SPIRITUAL salvation.
ThIS IS Perfectly depicted IN the story of Adam and Eve.
WE’ve BEen told that salvation means BEINg saved from Hell. However, that IS the result of salvation, not salvation itSelf.
As I always like to say, Words themSelves tell a story …
The etymology of salvation IS “the savINg of the Soul,” “deliverance from the Power of sIN” and “admission to Eternal bliss.”
That IS, salvation means BEINg saved from the Power of sIN and tHerefore the tendency / temptation to sIN and tHerefore the punishment of sIN.
The punishment of sIN BEINg, LivINg IN paIN and sufferINg … which IS LivINg IN Hell.
Salvation IS admission INto Heaven (Eternal Bliss) BEcause you no longer submit to the temptation to sIN.
The first place WE see Satan IN The Bible IS after God BEstows upon Adam a Wife.
Why?
BEcause the UNION of a Man and a Woman are a direct threat to the Devil.
Why?
BEcause One of the Purposes of Holy Matrimony IS to INcrease and advance God’s KINgdom. IS for the multiplication of God’s people. Of God’s ARMY.
ThIS why Holy Matrimony does not take 2 to BE complete and to succeed. It takes 3. 2 must BE united IN Love, by Love’s Creator. BEcause BEcomINg and BEINg One Flesh means goINg to war agaINst the enemy.
And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him — a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 𝗘𝗰𝗰𝗹𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝟰:𝟭𝟮
ThIS verse emphasizes the immUNITY that comes from a UNION built on a firm foundation of Faith and with God at the centre.
The story BEgins when WE WEre INnocent (when WE Knew our INnateness and tHerefore Lived from our INtegrity).
IN the Garden of Eden WE Lived IN Perfect Peace and Prosperity. God’s Promise, our provision.
The story tells us that IN the middle of Paradise stood TWO Trees. One was The Tree of Life, which gave Life to All of Creation and the other was the Tree of Knowledge, of Good and Evil (which IS often times referred to as the Tree of Death).
The Tree of Death IS “The Artificial Tree of Life” which offers INverted teachINgs to engineer reversals IN the Knowledge offered by The Tree of Life. The Tree of Death BEars The Fruit of Death. The Tree of (contamINated) Knowledge BEars the Fruit of (contamINated) Knowledge.
And the Lord commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀 𝟮:𝟭𝟱-𝟭𝟳
THIS IS a metaphor for their INnocence and INtegrity dyINg … for the Fruit was INfected with a parasite (lies) which possessed them Spiritually.
BEfore eatINg the Fruit All they Knew was UNION.
By eatINg the Fruit they could no longer see and experience the World IN Wholeness.
THIS was the Birthplace of duality and polarity. ThIS was the Birthplace of clothed and naked. ThIS was the Birthplace of INnocence and sIN … and tHerefore shame. ThIS was the Birthplace of Love and hate. ThIS was the Birthplace of Faith and Fear. ThIS was the Birthplace of Light and Dark. ThIS was the Birthplace of Good and Evil. ThIS was the Birthplace of right and wrong. ThIS was the Birthplace of pleasure and paIN. ThIS was the Birthplace of the need to judge, and BE judged. ThIS was the Birthplace of the need to punish, and BE punished. ThIS was the Birthplace of the need to forgive, and to BE forgiven.
And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate it.” 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀 𝟯:𝟴-𝟭𝟯
To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.” 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀 𝟯:𝟭𝟲
God did not curse Women to BEar and Birth Children IN paIN. By eatINg the Fruit Eve opened up our consciousness to percievINg and experiencINg thIS paIN.
By eatINg the Fruit She separated and severed HerSelf from God.
The Serpent IN the story IS representative of the Devil who subtly slithers INto our subconscious and INfects it with lies that Serve His backward Ways.
Eve literally had it All. Truly. E v e r y sINgle One of my Forest Fairy fantasy’s.
God assigned Her the reverent role and responsibility of BEINg a caretaker of Life IN essential collaboration with Adam.
The Devil’s tactic was to get Her to focus on the Tree that She could not eat from and to distract Her with the perceived deficiency of God’s Promises.
Eve, like many Women today, was deceived by the Devil’s temptations and the doubt He cast upon Her.
Now remember … God did not Create Adam and Eve at the same time.
First, He Created Adam and gave Adam His command, which He was to obey.
ThIS IS why God holds Man responsible for The Fall, first and foremost.
While Eve IS responsible for Her disobedience, Adam IS more responsible BEcause not only was He was passive, when it came to protectINg and preservINg Eve’s Purity IN a moment of temptation to disobey God’s Word; He also proceeded to disobey God’s Word Himself.
ThIS IS when the Bible passages on Men and Vows and Women and Vows BEcome very relevant.
Moses spoke to the heads of the tribes of the people of Israel, saying, “This is what the Lord has commanded. If man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.
If a woman vows a vow to the Lord and binds herself by a pledge, while within her fathers house in her youth, and her father hears of her vow and of her pledge by which she has bound herself and says nothing to her, then all her vows shall stand, and every pledge by which she has bound herself shall stand. But if her father opposes her on the day that he hears of it, no vows of hers, no pledge by which she has bound herself shall stand. And the Lord will forgive her, because her father opposed her.
If she marries a husband, while under her vows or any thoughtless utterance of her lips by which she has bound herself, and her husband hears of it and says nothing to her on the day that he hears, then her vows shall stand, and her pledges by which she has bound herself shall stand. But if, on the day that her husband comes to hear of it, he opposes her, then he makes void her vow that was on her, and the thoughtless utterance of her lips by which she bound herself. And the Lord will forgive her. And if she vowed in her husbands house or bound herself by a pledge with an oath, and her husband heard of it and said nothing to her and did not oppose her, then all her vows shall stand, and every pledge by which she bound herself shall stand. But if her husband makes them null and void on the day that he hears them, then whatever proceeds out of her lips concerning her vows or concerning her pledge of herself shall not stand. Her husband has made them void, and the Lord will forgive her. Any vow and binding oath to afflict herself, her husband may establish all her vows or all her pledges that are upon her. He has established them, because he said nothing to her on the day that he heard of them. But if he makes them null and void after he has heard of them, then he shall bear her iniquity. 𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟯𝟬:𝟭-𝟭𝟱
Ultimately, BEcause Adam did not oppose Eve’s disobedience, He did not void Her vow. Additionally, He effectively sealed the vow, by disobeyINg God HimSelf.
The Husband’s ability to nullify and void His Wife’s vows IS the Pure & True meanINg of:
Your Desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you. 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀 𝟯:𝟭𝟲
Through Holy Matrimony, a Man and a Woman are made One Flesh.
And they shall become one flesh. 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀 𝟮:𝟮𝟰
If any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. 𝟭 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗮𝗻𝘀 𝟳:𝟭𝟮-𝟭𝟰
As revealed to us IN the above passage, Adam could have made Eve Holy through Him, however, He Chose not to.
The story of Adam and Eve reveals that what leads to divorce IS our pursuit of happiness IN partnership (rather than holiness).
The story of Adam and Eve Serves as a remINder that Men are at the mercy of and manipulated by their sexual temptation and that they are to pursue sexual Purity; while Women are at the mercy of and manipulated by their emotional temptations and that they are to pursue emotional Purity. A theme
and I Will BE explorINg IN depth IN an upcomINg collaborative piece!
It turns out it was never about happily ever after, and always about, Holy ever after.
Holy Matrimony IS an Eternal exercise IN mortification of Flesh, which IS when an INdividual seeks to mortify their sINful Nature, as part of a process of sanctification.
Those who are called to the mINistry of Holy Matrimony Will, by the goodness, Grace and glory of God, fINd withIN their UNION, everythINg they need to BE Holy, to identify themSelves each day more and more with God and to BE IN His likeness and image.
AMEN.
