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WELLcome to Part 1 (of 3) of the "OfflINe Oasis Series,” a series Devoted to discussINg and rememberINg what it means to lead and Live a sanctified Life, IN the age of digital saturation.
Through a nostalgic reflection on the pre-technology era, an exploration of the culture of sharINg Birth story’s onlINe, and a compellINg argument for protectINg and preservINg Children’s INnocence and INtegrity from the omniPresent gaze of social media, thIS series INvites you to question the pervasive (unNatural) norm of overexposINg OneSelf. It encourages you to consider the impact of your digital footprINt on your identity, relationships, and Children.
ThIS thought-provokINg collection delves INto how discretion IS exercised IN today’s INcreasINgly digitized space and IS meant to INspire an INdividual and collective reevaluation of what WE share, how WE share, whom WE share with, wHere WE share, why WE share and the legacy WE leave BEhINd, IN the digital ether.
I savour the moments untaINted and unadulterated by the gaze of an iPhone.
A thought I have had more times than I can count IN the last few years.
Take the above image, for example — a classic vignette of contemporary Life.
Each lit up phone, a testament to our times — plugged IN, yet so out of touch from the raw essence of experience.
ThIS IS the digital age's signature, wHere Presence IS often a casualty of our need to capture, rather than Truly Live, each moment.
When I reflect on the era BEfore the digital deluge, I recall a time when existence was marked by a tangible immediacy, an unmediated connection to the moment at hand. ThIS pre-technological existence fostered a consciousness Rooted IN the Present, wHere INteractions and experiences WEre directly felt, not filtered through the gaze of a screen. The culture thrived on SINCERE, face-to-face connections, wHere the profundity of dialogue and discourse was matched by the depth of eye contact.
The advent of technology, while undoubtedly heraldINg unprecedented access and connectivity, both subtly and substantially shifted thIS consciousness. As WE navigated INto the post-technological era, our collective culture BEgan to pivot. INteractions, once direct, deeply personal and steeped IN Presence, BEcame INcreasINgly INtermediated by devices. The texture of our connections thINned; the once vibrant tapestry of CommUNITY INteraction faded INto a pixelated approximation.
As a 90’s Child, my memories are saturated with the tangible tastes of a pre-technological World, wHere moments WEre Lived rather than captured, wHere the essence of an experience was etched IN memory, not memory cards. ReflectINg on thIS journey from tHere to Here, WE arrive at a pivotal question for our hyper(dis)connected era:
IN our fervent quest to 'seize the moment,' have WE INadvertently let it slip right through our fINgers? (pun INtended)
I personally witnessed thIS transition, LivINg through both times. Pre-technological existence was characterized by a richness IN relationships, a byproduct of the INHERent undiluted Presence IN each INteraction. The shift INto a post-technological World saw a dilution of thIS Presence. The immediacy of Life BEcame fragmented, scattered across various platforms, each vyINg for a slice of our attention, pullINg us aWay from the very essence of our Lived experience, INdividually and collectively.
WE WEre already WELL on the trajectory towards an INcreasINgly decentralized, digitized and disemBodied existence, however, COVID (strategically) Served as a catalyst, acceleratINg our descent INto a culture deeply entrenched IN digital (over)exposure. It was that pivotal — tipped over the edge — moment that hastened our collective plunge INto a realm wHere our private Lives BEcame fodder (FEED) for digital consumption.
It was a time marked by unparalleled isolation and loneliness. As the World locked down, our physical spaces shrank to the confINes of our Homes, and the digital realm expanded to fill the void left by our curtailed physical INteractions. ThIS prolonged and Truthfully — INHUMANE — period of enFORCED isolation propelled us INto a new era of digital dependency, One wHere our private Lives WEre (and still are) INcreasINgly Lived — and displayed — onlINe.
The division BEtween public and private BEcomes and IS less and less dilINeated IN digital spaces.
Once upon a time, private INformation (such as the Birth of a Child, for example) was circulated among a limited and tight-knit social sphere consistINg of Family and Friends (by Word of mouth, written Word or photograph).
Once upon a time, private INformation was BEINg shared usINg tools with a lower diffusion capacity than the INstant, click of a button, diffusion capacity’s of today’s technology.
ThIS IS not to suggest that everyOne who uses platforms like IG, Tiktok and Facebook Will share every sINgle detail of their private Life.
ThIS IS to suggest that the overAll ethos IN such spaces IS that it IS favourable to do so. Favourable BEcause those who do, are seen as active and WELL-functionINg members of the CommUNITY (sub-read algorithm). They are seen as assets to the CommUNITY (sub-read algorithm).
It IS accepted and more importantly, expected to expose OneSelf.
It IS accepted and more importantly, expected to BE AN EXHIBIT.
IN the digital age, exhibitionism has found a new arena: the virtual World.
These technologies and the Ways they are designed to BE used, and the Ways that WE are manipulated and persuaded INto usINg them, encourages exhibitionistic BEhaviours / tendencies.
Digital exhibitionism does not exist IN a vacuum.
Digital exhibitionism fosters its counterpart: digital voyeurism.
As much as WE are drawn to display slices of our Lives onlINe, tHere exists an equally compellINg urge to peer INto the wINdows of others' Lives. ThIS dynamic duo of digital BEhaviors feeds off each other, creatINg a cycle that's as perpetual as it IS INsatiable.
IN today’s day and age, it IS normal to post screenshots of your bank account, how much money you made IN a WEek / month / year, videos of you givINg Birth, photos of your newBorn Baby’s face (a literal hour after they have left the Womb and entered the World), videos of sensual and sexual moments with your Spouse, videos of emotINg and trauma-processINg, videos of INtimate moments with God, photos of tombstones of passed on Loved Ones … the list goes on.
It IS so so so so far from Natural to share these (traditionally) sanctified moments with so many people.
The unNatural norm IS All of Life as a spectacle.
As thIS spectacle grows, so does the audience's appetite to (aimlessly) consume it.
When One IS a spectacle, One calls upon spectators.
While thIS dynamic and dance may feed (and INflate) the ego … it Will starve the Spirit.
It’s thIS state of Spiritual starvation that I Know IS One of the Root causes of the narcissism that IS alarmINgly (yet not surprisINgly) prevalent IN modern society.
A (relevant) side bar:
Did you Know that exhibitionism and voyeurism are both Known to BE courtship disorders?
“Courtship disorders are disruptions of the typical courtship succession in which pre-copulatory ideations and behaviors intended to result in partnership with another become exaggerated and/or omitted, potentially to harmful degrees.”
It’s no wonder relational dis-ease runs rampant Now, more than ever.
ANYWAY,
IN a time when and wHere many / most are voluntarily forfeitINg their privacy, a new concept emerges, standINg IN stark contrast to the norms that have pervaded our digital landscape: DIGITAL MODESTY (coINed by Mary Harrington).
Here IS an excerpt from Her SUBSTACK piece Behind Closed Doors wHere She explaINs the concept of digital modesty —
“This should be understood in a much broader context than showing skin, or behaving in an overtly sexual way. Digital modesty is a general disposition: an effort, however difficult it is in practice, to avoid any form of online self-presentation that veers into spectacle.
Understood thus, such a practice of modesty implies much more than “privacy”, which most understand today as something conferred by laws, conventions, rules, and rights. The kind of digital modesty able to hold space for intimate family life has to be more: a deliberate practice of self-veiling, against constant pressure in the other direction.”
Contrary to what others may say … thIS IS not an idealist concept. It’s the only practical thINg left to do (if you ask me).
ImagINe a World wHere everyOne cared as much about minimizINg their digital footprINt, as they do minimizINg their carbon footprINt.
Can you even imagINe that?
ThIS shift from LivINg IN the tangible and touchable World to performINg on a digital stage IS a stark remINder of our fallen state and distance from God. When you Know God, your HeART BEcomes and IS set on makINg Him Known (rather than makINg yourSelf Known). Rather than performINg for the Audience of All, you Live for the Audience of One. When you remember and Truly INnerstand that you are the Apple of God’s eye, and that He alWays has His sight set on you (and every sINgle One of His BELoved Children), the INcessant Desire to parade your Life for the World, dissolves. INstead, Life BEcomes and IS an INtimate walk BEtween you and God.
The transition from BEINg a God-centred spectacle to a self-centred spectacle IS INdicative of a World strayINg from its own Creational DestINy. IN a society that embraces the Presence of God, every moment, every Choice, every Word and every Breath IS an act of mortifyINg your flesh IN Devotion to God’s command, law and Will. The lure of social media, with its temptation of global attention and admiration, loses its grip when you Know that you are held Eternally IN God’s Hand. The transient and temporary applause of the onlINe masses pales IN comparison to the fulfillment found IN LivINg to please and deLight God’s HeART.
IN essence, the rise of digital exhibitionism and the resultant cultural voyeurism are symptomatic of a deeper Spiritual void — a collective forgettINg of who our True Audience IS.
IN the Wise Words of Kerry Ford — “if you haven’t figured out WHO you are, it’s because you haven’t figured out WHOSE you are.”
Read that over and over agaIN until it really takes Root IN your HeART.
Through digital modesty WE fINd a digital World that complements rather than consumes our real-Life experiences — that HighLights rather than eclipses our real-Life experiences.
I share thIS All with you, not merely for remINiscence Purposes, but as a relic from a departed era, carryINg with it, the poignant remINder of what WE stand to lose amidst our digital advancements.
The INtertwININg of digital exhibitionism and voyeurism shapes not just how WE INteract with and withIN the digital World but how WE perceive and tHerefore experience reality itSelf (for BEtter or for worse). It blurs the lINes BEtween observer and observed, participant and spectator, leadINg to a culture wHere WE are constantly watchINg and BEINg watched. As WE navigate thIS landscape, it's worth reflectINg on and havINg a conversation about the impact of these dynamics on our identity’s, relationships and Children.
My own passage INto and through these contrastINg contexts and cultures has nurtured withIN me a profound Gratitude for the Pure, undiluted Human connections of the past, alongside a sharp consciousness of technology's double-edged Nature. While it brINgs enumerable advantages, it has the capacity to erode the very fabric of our communal Life.
The awareness that I have Now INforms my Choice to self-veil when it comes to my digital identity. The awareness I have Now INspires my Choice to BE digitally modest, discrete and reserved— so as to not attract unnecessary attention my Way / my Family’s Way.
To contINue to engage IS tacit consent to thIS culture. It's a declaration of Will. It's implied by or INferred from actions, or lack thereof. It's to sign a contract with thIS culture and to PERPETUATE IT through mySelf, by not renouncINg it.
"He who is silent is taken to agree.”
"Silence implies / means consent."
ThIS IS the epitome of what it means to Live CORAM DEO — IN the Presence of God.
It IS to abide IN the Authority of God. It IS to Live for the Glory of God.
It IS to INnerstand and Know that whatever WE are doINg and whoever WE are BEINg, and wHerever WE are doINg and BEINg it, WE are ACTING UNDER THE WATCHFUL GAZE OF GOD.
AMEN.
BE sure to tap INto Part 2 and 3 of thIS series, if you haven’t already — BIRTH BEYOND THE LENS and CRYPTOCHILDHOODS.
I also INvite you to INjoy the good works of some writers who I AM INspired by, who I respect, and who share about and speak on similar topics / themes / threads:
